After watching The Karate Kid for the six millionth time, I thought that it would be fun to practice sweeps. This is a technique that I haven’t spent a lot of time working on over the years because I have never been good at it. I never like to work on things I am not good at, you know.
I thought that it might be a good time to go back to basics and start trying it on people who might not expect it. So, I rode my bike down to the local Walmart and thought it would be fun to try it on unsuspecting customers.
Start sweeping in the toy section
I figured that I would start sweeping kids first. They are small and their balance hasn’t really developed yet so I felt that they would be good targets to test this out. Needless to say, kids are easy to sweep and they normally fall down so you can make a fast getaway. After about five good sweeps I started feeling pretty good about myself.
Senior citizens can be feisty when swept
The next group I started to train with was the Senior citizens. One word of caution, if they have a cane, you need to move away very fast because some of them can swing that cane fast and hard. After about a half dozen sweeps and only taking one hit in the forearm from an older women with a cane it was time to move on to the next level
Women will try to run you down with a shopping cart
My next target was young women. They can move very fast when provoked but my skills are really starting to improve so I felt that I could easily take them down. After a few good sweeps I was feeling pretty cocky now and I saw a women not paying attention while pushing a shopping cart. I thought that she would be an easy target but little did I know that she would chase me around the store with the shopping cart after my sweep. She was able to hit me only once in the butt with the cart but luckily, my ninja skills prevailed and I was able to duck into the mens changing room to get away from her.
Six foot tall muscle man with tattoos
After all the shopping cart incident, I looked to show off my black belt skills and started looking for tough guys to practice on. I found a couple guys my size and needless to say, they fell quick. They tried to chase me but I ran into the ladies underwear department which stopped them in their tracks. I looked for someone that was more my skill level and found a six foot tall, 260 pound guy with tattoos all over his arms and head. The tattoo that said “I eat black belts for lunch” made him a perfect target for my advanced sweeping skills and I proceeded to take him down.
Needless to say, this guy was my toughest opponent but I was able to take him down before all the lights in the store went out. Oddly enough, I saw what looked like a fist right before the lights when out. Had those lights not have gone out, I wouldn’t be typing this article from my hospital bed right now but I know I could have taken him.
Maybe I will try this again on April 1st next year.
Happy April Fools day everyone!